What do I need to know about adoption?
Placing a child for adoption is incredibly difficult. However, for a woman who chooses to place her baby with a family who is ready to provide the life she is wishing for her child, it can be the most fulfilling decision too. The type of adoption plan you choose depends on how much contact you would like to have with the adoptive family and, ultimately, your child.
Different types of adoption
You must always remember, you are not “giving up” your child, you are making a plan for your child’s future. You are the one that has total control of the process.
Today, closed adoptions are rare. A private adoption means neither you nor the adoptive family have any contact whatsoever. The adoption is handled entirely through a third party, such as an agency or attorney. With this type of adoption, a court seals the adoption records. The adult child has to petition the court to unseal the documents, even for medical reasons. If a birthmother wishes to remain anonymous for various reasons, closed adoption is the safest.
Choosing an open adoption plan means you want to have full contact with the adoptive family and your child. Often, you will meet the family you’ve chosen even before giving birth. Everyone exchanges contact information such as names, phone numbers, emails, and addresses. Together, you and the adoptive family decide what type of contact you would both like to have. You can choose to exchange cards, letters, and photos. Or, if you live near one another, regular meetings or invitations to significant events such as birthday parties, graduations, and even weddings could include everyone.
As a compromise between the two, a semi-open adoption is possible. This plan allows for the exchange of some identifying information, such as first names. Meetings are usually set up by the agency or attorney at a public location. Through that same third party, you can exchange cards, letters, and photos. Many adoptions begin as semi-open, and once all parties are more comfortable, they become fully open.
Is adoption right for me?
Choosing adoption takes strength, which is why it’s often called “Brave Love.” Like abortion, there is a grieving process. However, knowing your baby is in the care of a loving family that you’ve chosen has many rewards. You have the opportunity to be a part of your child’s life without the day-to-day responsibilities. Your child will have the benefit of a father in the home, which studies have shown is significant. Plus, you will have given the adoptive couple the greatest gift they could ever receive.
At Pregnancy Options, we want to discuss this option with you. We know the difficulty in making this choice, and we’ll be with you through the entire process and beyond. As with any option you choose, no one can force you to do anything you do not want to do. The decision is entirely in your hands.